Black sheep in the momma hood...
People talk about losing your identity in the momma hood, missing adult conversation, going looney tunes at home with your gorgeous always-crying bundle of "i'll only sleep when you hold me." I feared these things too but in my efforts to prevent them, I've found myself with the opposite conundrum. I'm the same gal I've always been, with the same passions, the same friends...and the same lack of interest in poop textures, feeding schedules and sleep routines.
I keep wondering what is wrong with me. My antenatal instructor assured me these would be the only things I would want to talk about, stressing the importance of making friends with other mums who'll want to talk about the same things so we can exhaust every detail to our hearts' content.
I regularly tote my girl out to baby groups, in hopes of encouraging her development and interaction with other babies, and maybe blooming into the kind of mum who wants to talk poop sometimes. My encounters with other mums usually sound from my end something like this - "Hi is this your first time, oh is yours a boy or girl, oh i couldn't tell because I didn't see much pink and you don't have her ears pierced, you should pierce her ears soon, so what's her name? Oh gorgeous name, mine's Josh. Is she sleeping through the night yet? Are you breastfeeding? Oh yes, that yellow poo...Blah, blah, yada, yada." Have you zoned out yet? Me too.
Don't get me wrong, I love my girl to a zillion and six pieces. She's the cutest, coolest member of my family and so, so much fun. But her bowel movements, eating habits and sleeping patterns are just a fact of life, not unlike my own. They hardly qualify as an interesting discussion point. And after spending over an hour with a group of grown women, I would hope to come away with their first names (not just their babies'!) and maybe some information about them as people. Is this unreasonable?
Do I sound just not quite cut out for this gig? Thing is, I'm totally loving being a mum. But I'm just the same black sheep I was before, only probably now raising a black lamb! And the momma hood does not always feel like the most diverse of neighbourhoods. Having pondered this though, I'm sure this is just on the surface. Underneath, I bet there are real colourful people wanting to talk about real things. Until next time, wish me luck breaking through the baby poop.