I haven’t posted in a while and I won’t try to make excuses because it’s a New Year - out with the old, in with the new and all that.
Like many who get reflective this time of year, I couldn’t resist a New Year’s blog post. I won’t lie, I love me a fresh start. Some people associate the first of the month with the dreaded rent or mortgage payments and a never-ending list of bills being due. I, on the other hand, have always found myself joyously dancing around to a certain Bone Thugs N Harmony tune (yes, really). This is because - I love Bone Thugs obviously, but also - rent and bills, to me, have always been small potatoes next to the fact that I buy blindly and blissfully into the clean-slate phenomenon. And of course the first of January is as clean-slate as it gets.
What I did this year, before even thinking about the ole New Year’s resolutions, was accept and appreciate myself for who I am. I know this sounds wishy-washy but I feel it’s kind of a big deal.
I fancy myself to be a fairly confident and happy person, yet I tend to carry with me these frustrating ‘I should’ statements accompanied by a bit of, ugh I hate to say it, guilt. Mostly related to devoting more time and energy to people I love in my life, and secondarily, to having healthier habits and to doing things I think I should be doing more of to help my career flourish.
But what I realize is that you can’t be everything. I always tell people, you can’t be everything to everyone, so just focus on being happy and those who are worth it will be in your corner. But if your expectations for yourself are unrealistic, you can’t be everything to yourself either – and this is what I learned in 2014.
We are finite creatures with finite time. We can’t be two completely opposing things at one time. We need to make a choice. Just like in order to do more of something, you need to take away time from something else, in order to be all of something, you can’t be all of something else.
I live in the moment. I love this (and hate this) about myself. I love life, I treasure every moment, I am completely engaged in the activities I do and the time I spend with people or by myself. This means, that I can’t also be the person who always answers the phone, who is around for my loved ones 24/7, and who is tweeting constantly about whatever people in my industry are supposed to be tweeting about.
I can’t maintain all the things I love about myself and my life if I want to trade them in for other things, and when I weigh them out, I want to live freely, openly and happily – which is what I tend to do now. Not to mention, the people who are constantly calling, texting, tweeting and Facebooking, often want to live more like me. Of course some of them still berate me for being unavailable because I am engaged in another moment in my life, rather than waiting for notifications on my smartphone - a device which, to my credit, I did eventually buy.
I like the way I am. I don't feel guilty for not being someone different.
Still, it is New Year's Day, and while I appreciate these qualities about myself and don't feel I would want to replace them to be someone who spends all my time at everyone else's disposal, we all have room for improvement and I do think there are arenas of my life that don't get enough of my attention. For me, this always comes back to balance.
So, this 2015, as with every year before it, all-or-nothing me is still continually seeking the b word. My New Year’s Resolution is to keep being me, while making an effort to implement a balance of the things I think are important into every day of this year… except the weekends obviously.
Happy New Year ya'll. And in the spirit of wanting to share something inspiring and useful on this first day of 2015, here's a little something sent to me by a client of mine - Enjoy!